Disclaimer: The following information is educational and not medical advice. Please consult your healthcare provider before starting any new exercise routine, especially if you're experiencing painful intercourse or other pelvic floor dysfunction symptoms.

Often we think the pelvic floor is weak because it's loose. (I mean, it kinda makes sense—that's why the pee leaks out, right? WRONG.)

Maybe you feel some pressure on your pelvic floor during pregnancy, or after birth you have no interest in looking "down there" for fear you'll just see some things flapping in the wind.

But actually, ask any pelvic health physical therapist, and they'll tell you it's more likely that your pelvic floor is too tight, NOT too loose! (And tight = weak in this case!)

Let me explain what I mean–

Understanding Tight Pelvic Floor Muscles and Painful Intercourse

Painful intercourse affects many women, particularly postpartum women, but it's not something you have to live with. While there are various common causes of sexual pain, including hormonal changes and medical conditions, a tight pelvic floor is often the underlying issue.

Think of your pelvic floor like any other group of muscles in your body. When muscles are chronically tight, they become weak and can't function properly. This can lead to various health conditions including:

• Painful sexual intercourse
• Urinary incontinence (yes, even with tight muscles!)
• Pelvic organ prolapse
• Chronic pelvic pain
• Muscle spasms in the pelvic region

The good news is that simple exercises and lifestyle changes can make a significant improvement in your quality of life.

The Role of Relaxation in Pelvic Floor Health

Before diving into the exercises, let's talk about why relaxation is crucial for your pelvic floor muscles. Your nervous system plays a huge role in pelvic floor tension. When these muscles stay constantly contracted, it can lead to involuntary muscle contraction and persistent genital pain.

This is also why learning to relax your pelvic floor is key for a smooth vaginal delivery. Those tight pelvic floor muscles need to learn how to lengthen and release.

9 Effective Exercises for Pelvic Floor Relaxation

Here are great ways to address tight pelvic floor muscles through at-home exercises. Remember to focus on deep breaths and gentle movements.

1. Malasana (Deep Squat)

This traditional physical therapy and yoga favorite helps release pelvic floor tension naturally.

1. Stand with feet slightly wider than hip-width
2. Turn toes out slightly
3. Lower into a deep squat, making sure your feet are either flat on the floor or there's something underneath your heels to support them
4. Focus on breathing down into your pelvic floor, allowing it to relax and release with each breath
5. Stay for 5-10 breaths

2. Happy Baby Pose

This gentle pose helps release tension in both your pelvic floor and inner thighs.

1. Lie on your back
2. Bend knees toward chest
3. Hold outside of feet or ankles
4. Allow knees to fall wide
5. Focus on diaphragmatic breathing, feeling your pelvic floor soften with each exhale

3. Trigger Point Release

This manual therapy technique can provide myofascial release for tight muscles.

1. Place a small therapy ball between your tailbone and sitting bone and sit down on top of it
2. Breathe deeply
3. Gently roll around
4. When you find a spot of tension, pause and breathe into it
5. Spend 1-2 minutes on each side

4. Sukhasana with Pelvic Floor Breathing

This simple exercise helps develop awareness of pelvic floor contraction and relaxation.

1. Sit comfortably cross-legged (put a pillow or block under your hips if it helps!)
2. On your inhale, consciously release your pelvic floor
3. On your exhale, try a gentle pelvic floor contraction
4. Repeat for 10 breath cycles

5. Polar Bear Pose with Pelvic Tilts

This position is excellent for accessing your pelvic region and practicing coordination.

1. Start on hands and knees
2. Drop to forearms
3. Inhale: release pelvic floor and reach tailbone to sky
4. Exhale: tuck tail and contract pelvic floor
5. Repeat 5-10 times

6. Wave Squats

This dynamic movement combines breath work with muscle relaxation.

1. Stand in mountain pose
2. Inhale: raise arms up
3. Exhale: lower into chair pose, sticking tailbone out
4. Inhale: stay here, consciously releasing pelvic floor
5. Exhale: contract pelvic floor, tuck tail, unroll spine to standing
6. Repeat 4 times

7. Ribcage Breathing

Proper breathing is fundamental for pelvic floor function.

1. Sit upright
2. Place hands on ribs, with your thumbs on your back
3. Focus on expanding ribs in all directions with each breath
4. This creates the full breath needed for effective pelvic floor breathing
5. Practice for 5-10 breaths

8. Figure 4 Glute Release with Foam Roller

Tight glutes can contribute to pelvic floor dysfunction.

1. Sit on a foam roller
2. Cross one ankle over opposite knee
3. Gently roll over glute muscles
4. Pause on tender spots and breathe
5. Spend 1-2 minutes per side

9. Inner Thigh Release with Foam Roller

The inner thighs connect directly to your pelvic floor muscles.

1. Lie on your belly, supported by your forearms
2. Place foam roller under / inside one thigh
3. Slowly roll from knee to pubic bone
4. Keep movements gentle and slow
5. Spend 1-2 minutes per side

The Pregnancy and Birth Connection

Pregnancy and birth can significantly impact your pelvic floor muscles in ways many women don't expect. During pregnancy, these muscles work overtime supporting your growing baby and increasing weight. Think about carrying a gallon of milk around all day – your arm would be exhausted! That's exactly what happens to your pelvic floor during pregnancy.

After birth, whether vaginal or cesarean, your pelvic floor has gone through major changes. Many postpartum women experience:

• Changes in sexual function
• Shifts in the muscle tension
• Alterations in the nervous system response
• Different sensations during vaginal penetration

This is why traditional kegels typically aren't enough. Your pelvic floor needs a comprehensive approach that considers these unique changes and challenges.

Understanding the Mind-Body Connection

Your pelvic floor doesn't exist in isolation – it's deeply connected to your mental health and emotional well-being. Psychological factors can significantly impact pelvic floor tension, and here's why:

• Your pelvic floor muscles respond to stress and anxiety
• Past experiences, including sexual abuse or birth trauma, can cause involuntary muscle contraction
• Emotional issues can manifest as physical tension in the pelvic area
• The nervous system plays a crucial role in muscle relaxation

This is why cognitive behavioral therapy or sex therapy sometimes becomes part of a complete treatment plan. The mind-body connection is powerful, and acknowledging this can be a crucial step in your healing journey.

The Power of Consistency and Patience

When it comes to addressing painful intercourse and pelvic floor dysfunction, quick fixes rarely work. Here's what a realistic approach looks like:

Setting Realistic Expectations

• Significant improvement can realistically take 6-8 weeks of consistent practice
• Everyone's journey and timeline are different
• Some days might feel like steps backward – this is normal
• Progress isn't always linear

Creating a Sustainable Practice

The exercises shared above work best when:

• Practiced regularly (aim for 5-10 minutes daily)
• Done with full attention and proper breathing
• Modified as needed for your comfort
• Integrated into your daily routine

Signs of Progress

Look for these indicators of improvement:

• Decreased muscle tension in the pelvic region
• More awareness of your pelvic floor muscles
• Better ability to both contract and release
• Gradual reduction in pain or discomfort
• Improved quality of life and confidence

Moving Forward with Pelvic Health

While these exercises can help address painful intercourse and other symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction, they're just one part of the solution. Other treatment options might include:

• Working with a pelvic floor therapist
• Consulting your healthcare provider about underlying health conditions
• Addressing any psychological factors or emotional issues
• Considering sex therapy if needed

My Mama Core Workshop will tell you all you need to know about your pelvic floor and core after baby. Inside this comprehensive workshop, you'll learn:

• The correct way to do pelvic floor exercises
• How to understand what's actually happening in your body
• Ways to build the foundation for reconnecting to and strengthening your core

Remember: A tight pelvic floor isn't just about doing certain exercises—it's about learning the correct way to engage and, importantly, release these muscles. And like any lifestyle changes, addressing pelvic floor issues takes time and dedication. But with the right support, education, and tools – like those provided in the Mama Core Workshop – you can make lasting improvements in your pelvic floor health.

Final Disclaimer: While these exercises can be helpful for many women experiencing painful intercourse and pelvic floor tension, they're not a substitute for professional medical care. Always consult with your healthcare provider or a pelvic floor physical therapist to determine the cause of your pain and create an appropriate treatment plan for your specific needs.